You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
