States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
