well I can't set my house on fire every night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm always down for nudity.
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