i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
