If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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