i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
