road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
