New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the day after is always just damage control
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
