HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
