Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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