Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
