it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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