if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
