it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
