im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
