someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
