Someone shit on the floor
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
