i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
