hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
