their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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