My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize