i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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