Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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