Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Two words: nipple clamps
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