I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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