It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
