you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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