Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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