I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
