So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
