so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
