Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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