just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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