Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
