I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But break dance skills will only take you so far
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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