My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm going to jail i love you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sobbing to NWA
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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