Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
