he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The struggles of a small town man whore
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
