im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
