Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
