I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Rumble strips road head = magical
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
