So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
