what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
