i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
