what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
