But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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