she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
