She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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