escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
