I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
