Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
