3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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