I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
