Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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