At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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