can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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