and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
